Monday, March 10, 2014

FAREWELL: A Quadrupole Video Review Of Emanuelle Queen Of The Desert. NO REST FOR THE WICKED, LEAVES OF GREEN, LISA AND THE DEVIL and an important message


                                                          


It's with a heavy heart that I tell you all goodbye. This will be the final post on this site. It's been fun...No I'm just fuckin' With ya! The new and very much improved B-Is For Best movie Reviews and More is now live at b-isforbest.tk and I could not be happier to wipe my hands of the shithole known as blogspot and officially declare my independence! Besides showcasing a much shorter, easier remember URL, the new B-Is For Best looks better, is easier handled by most computers and also features an interactive social media portion where you can sign up and interact with fellow Indie movie fans as well as myself and the other writers! So here's one more review for the road and I hope to see you all on the other side!


         

Saturday, February 22, 2014

FO FREE! A Sextuple Review Of CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE 1-6

 



Well surprise surprise, I'm back early with the good old written format. I know I said I'd be sticking with video reviews until the new site is done..Well, as usual, things aren't going quite where I thought they would. I decided to do this one as a written review because it's one I am now intricately involved in (we'll get into how in just a bit) and I may be talking about it more then would be bearable with a video review..Plus it'll be a little different from what I usually do..Anyhow..Let's talk about Campout Nightmare!

CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE: is the brainchild of then eight year old boy Mike Sankovich. It tells the tale of Ben, a young man who just wants to go camping with his buddies. Ben and his friends get to the camp ground only to get attacked and massacred by a group of vampires. What began as a nice night out turns into a fight for survival against the undead

CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE 2 has Ben and Joey returning to the scene of the attack to check for survivors. Not much else is known about this entry to the series as this one (along with the first) is missing and Mike believes he may have never actually completed shooting it.


CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE 3 takes us to a mental hospital where a young man named thorn (brother to Joey from Camp Out Massacre 2) has been committed after being attacked by bats he believes have turned him into a vampire. Ben visits Thorn in the hospital daily because he feels guilty for what happened to Thorn because it happened while he was camping with Joey. During his visits Ben falls in love with Jessica, a nurse who works there. Everything is looking great for the two love birds until it becomes apparent that Thorn isn't so crazy afterall and what he is..is much worse!

Brimming with creativity, hilariously bad sets and costumes and that raw energy that only a kid with a camera an imagination and little else can create, CN3 was the first of the series that I had the pleasure of watching. While the film is certainly one of the most amateur I have ever seen (How could it not be, it was made by an eight year old back in 1989 when the only thing available and affordable was cheap VHS) it's also one of the most endearing. All of the music is borrowed from other Horror films and played on a tape player, and some of the story elements seem inspired by films like Don't Look In The Basement..but there's a raw love for the genre here that makes it stand out and makes it much more endearing and watchable then most "DIY, backyard movies" that were so popular in the mid 80's to early 90's

The characters here were played a bit silly with many of the cast members mugging for the camera, forgetting lines or instructing the camera..but nearly as much as you'd expect considering some of these kids look to be about six. This was another  element that added to the so bad it's good fun as I couldn't help but laugh at these cute little kids attempting to convince us they were work hardened nurses, mental patients and suave ladies men.

The cinematography here was..rough. Just think though this is a film recorded on VHS 25 years ago by a kid and then transferred to DVD many years afterward, the fact that the audio is even audible and the video watchable is amazing in and of itself, and I have to say that thought the quality isn't great the angles utilized, smooth pans and even some hauntingly lingering shots mark this film as the work of a filmmaker with quite a bit of unrealized potential.

Overall I give this film no middle fingers up. It may not be the next Halloween and it certainly is much more cute and unintentionally funny then scary but it serves as an excellent cobblestone of a truly talented filmmaker

   
CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE IV:Thorn Lives: begins with Jessica and Ben deciding to take some much needed time away with some friends after the fire that took Thorn's life at the mental hospital. They head off to camp Crystal where Ben proposes and they think Camp Crystal would make the perfect location for their wedding. Unfortunately Thorn (who's not so dead afterall)  thinks the location is a perfect location as well...for a massacre that is!

A return to goofy, fun form for Mike, CN4 is the first of the series where we start to see a bit more of a developed plot and characters. We also start to see a small improvement in editing which helps quite a bit with the all around flow of the entire thing.

The characters here are more..put together then in the previous installment. Here Ben (who flip flopped between appearing to be a child goofing off and a man being played by a child) is definitely supposed to be a man. We see the character bloom and take shape and this makes the surprising ending all the more effective.

There's still virtually no gore in this installment other then a bit of watery ketchup blood, but when we do see gore it's played more comedic, as if young Mike realized his limitations and went with them.
The cinematography here was, once again low level VHS, which was unfortunate..But the sound was much better in this one, with all the dialog being audible. We once again see the creativity with the camera that made the 3rd installment so interesting.
Overall I have to give this one no middle fingers up as well. It, once again, has it's flaws but if anything those flaws tend to add to the fun rather than take away from the experience at all.

 CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE V: THORN GOES TO HELL:  Opens not long after the death of Ben and his mother. We're introduced to Ben's father, Thor, an emotionally destroyed drunk, and Ben’s cousin Sean. Sean must get Thor’s ass in gear (and fast) if they hope to avenge the death of their family and take the undead scumbag Thorn down once and for all!
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Packed with emotional turmoil, and engaging plot and believable characters, Thorn Goes to Hell was the first of the series to really cement in place that Mike is capable of making a good film. Sure it’s shortcomings still place it in the so bad it’s good category but mostly just due to lack in discipline from the cast and the same camera limitations as the previous installments. We had some accidental smiles, some surreal moments when people who are supposedly on the phone are clearly in the same room talking off camera and some other hallmarks of this series I’ve now grown to love..But there was a definite increase in quality all the way around.

The characters here were all much better developed then in the previous installments, particularly in the case of interactions between Thor and his nephew. It wasn’t much of  a surprise when I found out from Mike that the actor playing Thor was actually drunk in real life and the frustration we see on screen from the Sean character is genuine.  But even taking that into consideration the actor who played Thor is probably the most talented to have been involved in the series thus far. It makes it all the more tragic that not too long ago he passed away due to his alcohol abuse.

The gore here was still…silly, in fact this one has my favorite kill in the entire series so far. Thorn rips out a woman’s..organ..and it’s obviously a pork chop! Not just any pork chop either, a cooked one!

The cinematography here was pretty much the same as the others. The quality was a bit better though, most likely due to the film not being nearly as old as the other two.

Overall I give this movie one middle finger chopped off. It’s by far my favorite of the series both as a so bad it’s good movie and as a just plain good one.


 CAMPOUT NIGHTMARE VI: The Resurrection: Brings back Sean who narrowly escaped being killed and now is forced to walk with a walker. Worse then that is the unshakable feeling that Thorn is still not defeated. This fear seeps into every aspect of Sean’s life until Thorn’s son Nick resurrects his evil father and his reign of terror once again begins! Sean must  enlist the help of some old friends in order to stop the madness and keep his new fiancĂ©’ and stepson safe.

This film once again showcased what Mike could do. It misses the mark of being my favorite mostly because of it’s tendency to spend too much time on unneeded side notes. I was also a bit disappointed that the trend that the earlier films started of copying other more famous Horror series such as Halloween, Friday the 13th and in the case of this one Scream, is still present. With that said those is a fun and relatively well put together film as a whole.

The characters here were a bit 2D other then Sean himself who’s character has taken on an interesting twist. We still see the kind hearted do gooder we saw in the others, as well as the vengeful spirit of justice the last entry added, but here we see Sean also as a broken (borderline psychotic) man. He’s on the edge constantly and I must admit I spent a large part of the film considering that perhaps it was in his head and he was the killer.

The gore here was still pretty tame, homemade blood and not a lot else..but despite that, this little diddy moves along at a nice pace.

The cinematography here was an improvement from the other films, appearing more like a mini VHS camcorder (perhaps an older RCA) and less like half rotted VHS. The shots were set up quite a bit neater and the cuts from one scene to another worked a lot better. This is certainly the film that’s the best from a technological standpoint.

Overall I give this film one middle finger a quarter of the way extended. It relied on cliches a bit too much and wasted time on needless asides..but all in all I still enjoyed it quite a bit.

So, overall Campout Nightmare is a series with quite a bit of potential that, perhaps doesn’t quite live up to that potential. Unlike most pretentious asshole critics though, I decided to take an active stand in helping this series reach that potential (and hopefully beyond.) I volunteered to come on as a consultant and a co-writer for the 7th installment of the film free of charge. Now I know many of you out there are going “what??? Why??” Well readers, it’s quite simple really. When I watched these films it reminded me of my childhood making goofy flicks with my little brother. We were just two kids with crappy cameras, no money and a dream. Due to that time in my life I have a deep respect for people who make films in this manner; people that say, No money? No problem!, No cast? That’s what friends are for!

I also have an enormous amount of respect for Mike himself, because he’s willing to admit he needs help. It takes a lot of a filmmaker to allow another person to  tamper with their work.
Mike not only accepted my offer of help but was excited to have it offered!
Will Campout Nightmare 7 be the best one of the series? …I certainly hope so, but regardless of the fact you know things are about to get weird!

Oh..and in case you haven't figured it out, this article is called "Fo Free!" Because those vids above are Campout Nightmare 3-6 Fo free! Enjoy!


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Sunday, February 16, 2014

I'M DRAWING A BLANK ON WHAT TO CALL THIS ONE SO..: A Quadruple Video Review Of LOVECRACKED, HOLE, BROKEN BLOOD AND CANNIBAL CHEERLEADING CAMP

Today I take a look at four fun little flicks that stand out from their respective sub-genres as unique unto themselves...Complete with the awkwardness and bad edits you've come to know and  love!

                                                                    






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TITS..JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR ART.: A Video Review Of THE ARTIST AND THE MODEL


Today I take a look at Spanish Art film THE ARTIST AND THE MODEL...and then awkwardly  mumble about it!
                               


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Monday, February 10, 2014

A NEW ADVENTURER RISES AND SOME UNDEAD HEROICS: A Double Feature Video Review Of THE ADVENTURER:CURSE OF THE MIDAS BOX and HAUNTER



I take a look at some great new flicks sent over by Image Releasing, one introduces a wonderful new addition to both the detective and adventurer genre and the other turns the modern Ghost story on it's head!
                                


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A BRUTAL JESUS, A VIOLENT VICAR, A DEMON, AND A DEAD BODY: A Video Review Of SRS Cinema's 21ST CENTURY GRINDHOUSE VOL.1 GOD TOLD ME NOT TO..BUT I DID ANYWAY




































Today we took a look at another collection from SRS Media..It may not be Grindhouse...but it's not half bad!


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Saturday, February 8, 2014

SOME OLD SCHOOL ZOMBIE HILARITY: A Video Review Of TERROR OF THE UNDEAD and RETRO



Continuing on with my wonderful, critically acclaimed (or is that clinically ashamed..?) awkward video review series, I take on the kickass throw back zombie come TERROR OF THE UNDEAD and the 80's style movie it inspired RETRO, both from up and coming artist/filmmaker  Alexander Gustafsson!



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